The thing I love most about the 101 list is that you never quite know where it is going to lead you. I have met so many lovely people and have had such great experiences since starting my first list. When I set this goal for myself I imagined trying new foods, new dance classes, new sports. I never imagined I would be having a near death experience, hallucinating in a room full of fog...and loving it!
Kurt Hentschläger's art installation 'Zee' is an experience you have to try for yourself. I will attempt to describe my experience of it here although I have tried and deleted this post many times already.
I'm not going to lie to you, having to sign a disclaimer and being given advice on how to breathe wasn't the most settling thing in the world. While I was signing I asked the lady if they have had many problems and she replied "Yes...an awful lot" in a hushed tone that seemed to trigger my 'Sonic Syndrome'. I used to love playing Sonic the Hedgehog as a kid until the mass media revealed that the evil hedgehog was causing epileptic fits. I played with trepidation after that, always being on guard in case this time was the time flashy sonic might find that spot in my brain and cause me to fit. So as I entered the room...following the rope and breathing through my nose as instructed...there was that same trepidation.
For a brief moment I could see the people ahead of me making their way into the light, the fog consuming them one by one. There was a timely chain reaction as they did, a brief *cough* from each person as the smoke hit their lungs. I followed the rope around until the person in front of me came to a halt. I turned my back to the main source of light as it was incredibly bright. The fog became thicker. We had been warned that the fog/smoke has an unpleasant smell. Those of you who know me will be aware that I have no sense of smell but when things smell REALLY strong.....I can 'taste' them (sometimes this is very bad news for me). In 'Zee' I could 'taste' icing sugar....(yay)... although i'm not sure if this was psychological.
The music grew louder and the 'dancing' lights began, brilliant colours and shapes, like having kaleidoscope eyeballs. I could hear muffled talking in the distance which made me wonder whether I had actually passed out. It was a weird dream like feeling. Am I awake? Am I still alive? I kept one hand on the rope at all times just to reassure myself that I was still upright.
There was also an incredible feeling of isolation. I have since discovered that a friend who has also experienced 'Zee' found this very overpowering and had to leave because of it. She said that she felt a loneliness she had never experienced before. I found the isolation strangely comforting and it was at this point that the 'Sonic syndrome' left me and the euphoric feeling set in. I don't know if it's because I spend a lot of time on my own anyway so have learnt to deal with it or some inner 'faith'; something just 'washed' over me and I was suddenly bursting with happiness.
So there I was, standing 'alone' in a room full of fog with twelve other people, grinning like the Cheshire cat, in total awe of the light display in front of me...or 'inside' me might be a better description as I think it's very much an internal thing although it is projected out. Every now and then I would see a familiar place in the distance but when I tried to concentrate on it and figure out where it was, it would go again. The more I tried to focus on it the quicker it would go. It was a familiar place, like a warm memory, a comforting one but alas it was unreachable. I've since wondered if it would have appeared in full if I'd have just ignored it. Like a reward for fully 'switching off'.
I left 'Zee' on a high with a feeling of euphoria that lasted for days. My eyes feel as if they have been 'fixed' somehow. Like now I am really seeing things...now I am really seeing the world. I feel as if I have had a very personal encounter with a higher being that has somehow made me reconnect with myself....not bad for a room full of fog and lights.
'Zee' is at FACT Liverpool until 27th November (Free entry)
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